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Launching Your College Age Student

by Helen C. Hipp

posted in Home and Family

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Do you have to be completely independent in order to be self-reliant?
Ingrained in every stage of development is the unfolding realization of human interdependence and independence, an awareness necessary to find the balance between, a students standing on their own strengths, and leaning on others for support. As infants we all start out dependent on others for our survival. Now as adults, faced with a new beginning, are we meant to stand on our own, alone?
Does having your own apartment mean your independent?
Thoughts of apartment living or living outside the family home create a perception or illusion of independence, a dream of the place where they want to end up. Maybe they are a dependent, independent, meaning they have an apartment but are dependent on others to pay the bills. What these image's of self-sufficiency are missing is personal involvement. Even though autonomy begins in the mind with thoughts of independence, without taking actions your student cannot write the rules they will live by, or develop enough self-confidence to truly become their own person. Unlike when they were first-born, this is a time in their life when support and guidance are available to use as they see fit. Their autonomy cannot be achieved or defined by external influences such as living situations. Their independence requires their choices, their planning, their effort, and their action. Real life happens only when they are a driving force within it!
Declaring Your Independence
Students need to learn to makeup their own minds without needing permission from outside influences. Being independent of a student's nuclear family is expressed with self-confidence and awareness. It is the declaration, freeing themselves of "others expectations" of what they should or should not do with their lives.
Knowing When Your Ready
While in the midst of developing self-reliance and self-sufficiency is a students knowledge. It is probably one of the most powerful tools they possess because it has the capacity to both limit and expand their view of what they believe possible. Although it is important to own it within their own reality, there is another important component needed when preparing for what comes next. It is the "knowing" part of knowledge. This is what flicks the internal personal growth switch. By realizing what they need and want, they initiate the development of their skills with personal direction and accountability. These are the true indicators of their readiness and willingness to move forward through life's transitions.
Tip: An exercise in potential and performance, students benefit by identifying small daily changes they want, and are willing to make, cultivating for themselves powerful habits that make a difference in their lives. Getting to where they want to be with self-motivation and everyday practice.
About the Author: Do concerns to understand their bigger choices concern you?
WithinU Life Coaching, can help with encouragement and guidance that will assist students with moving forward through life's transitions. http://www.withinulifecoaching.com.
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