What if you can have the close, committed relationship you've wanted for years? Funnily enough it may take cleaning out the clutter in a drawer...
You've been dating for many months, possibly years. It's going well, maybe fantastic, but you want more.
It's been long enough, you want to be together more, you want the ring on your finger or at least move toward living together. You can have more with what I am about to tell you. The following is a subtle way to start, but for success you need to make sure most of the following is in place...
1. Dates are going really well
2. Sex is great
3. You know he likes you lots, tells you he loves you
4. You both feel comfortable with each other
5. You have your own life, feel happy with who you are, 'neediness' is not an issue
6. You are easy for him to please
7. You generally feel happy in your life
8. When he calls you show appreciation
9. You often appreciate him and show and tell him
10. Love the time you spend together and are comfortable apart
11. He can tell you anything without you 'blowing up'
12. He can be honest with you about who he is
13. He isn't expected to do things but is given the space to do them
14. You share "beingness" together
1. Let's say your house is full of clutter. It's clean out/ time to d-clutter. For your feelings of good vibrations as well as his, a clean, orderly environment draws good feelings, feelings of orderliness, feelings of wanting to be there.
2. You know those drawers that are stuffed with clutter... if you can manage to clear one out, you might just be escalating your relationship one level closer to commitment.
3. Maybe you even have an extra room which can be vacated.
4. Also, you know the thought you've had about getting a big screen TV, now might be the time - sports games are best on big screens.
5. This may also be the time to make your room more feminine, pretty, smell good.
6. And a time to stock up on blue berry muffin frozen mixes or any other easy-to-make muffin mixes.
You are now set...
1. Before your man comes over one evening, knowing that he will, you bake some muffins - the air is wafting with their smell.
2. Your man comes over and you two are having a good evening.
3. He is planning to stay over.
4. At one point in the evening while you are both in the bedroom together you take him over to the empty drawer.
5. You open it up in front of him and say - "This is for you".
6. You don't explain, you don't say anything more.
7. You quickly walk out of the room to go off to do something else.
8. You don't mention it again, you don't talk about it.
9. Just watch, at some point, if all is going well, there will be his things in the draw.
10. You can do the same thing for an extra room - take him to the room and say "This is for you" again walking away without getting into a discussion.
11. Acting normal, nonchalant about all of the above is important.
12. As well as allowing him his own space/time to be comfortable to do his thing while you're doing yours around your house is critical.
What will this do -
All of the above will give your man the idea of what it would be like to live together, to be more committed.
He will start to think that living together might be better than the freedom he is treasuring by living apart. That he can have the freedom and also have more, have you and a shared environment to come home to.
I can smell those muffins now...
Try it, and I'd love to hear how it works for you. Please email me and let me know - firstname.lastname@example.org
About the Author: