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What Did I Just Do?

by Jamee Light

posted in Relationships

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What if you had one tool that could assure you of a dream relationship- one of the most powerful tools that actually works, one that any and all women should be using, but it could be scary, scary, scary even to think about.
Circular Dating/Musical Chairs Dating can be pretty scary - especially if you are in a long-term relationship that is going no where, or even a marriage that has some serious esteem issues for you, or if you are starting to date someone special or you haven't met that special one yet. Basically it's more potent form is for all of us who are not married or don't have a ring on our finger, and if we are married or do have a ring on our finger, it is still for us but in a modified form. Thus, basically, for all and any of us. Something women should know about; you might need courage to use it, but it is worth it... it is the only tool that can quickly change your relationship and life, the only one that might work.
I had been dating someone for about a year.
The basic pattern of our relationship was I would go over to his house on weekends...
I liked doing that, it was like a vacation for me, but I was getting too involved without a commitment on his part; I felt like I was being taken for granted.
Besides that I was beginning to see some real red flags - related to drinking and his employment. So one weekend I decided to accept a date on Friday night from someone else. When I told my then partner, all Hell broke loose.
Words like - if you go out with someone else our relationship is over...
1. That's not what I wanted or wanted to hear...
2. I explained to him that I felt like I was losing myself in the relationship
3. I felt like I was obsessing about him
4. As a woman, I needed more contact during the week
5. I didn't want to pressure him or the relationship
6. And in order not to do all the above I would be going out with others till more of a commitment from him was made,
But I sure felt like - What Did I Just Do! Did I end it...
Text messages went back and forth between us, on Friday and Saturday.
I did go out with the new guy on Saturday, then I called my more steady partner and asked him if he still wanted me to come over that night. He reluctantly said yes.
When I was a bit late, he called rather hurt sounding, almost saying don't bother to come...
I told him I was all packed and ready to drive.
When I got to his condo I was greeted with some big surprises - more 'I love you's' than I had ever heard in my life before.
The tables had been turned, I felt my inner strength; I was taking care of my self, doing what I needed.
It gave me the ability to feel as though I had a choice whether I wanted to be part of this particular relationship.
For the first time in my life I felt the ugly veil of co-dependency lift.
I felt loveable and loved.
About the Author: If you would like to try this, we can do it together. Schedule a free 1/2 hour coaching session. Email me briefly what's going on for you, then, if you like we can schedule a free 1/2 hour session where I can actually help you with Circular Dating/Musical Chairs Dating, or any other relationship issue you may be having. Why not get some help with someone who has been successful at this! Email me at:
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