Confidence is a funny thing. Are some people - the gorgeous and successful among us - born with it? Of course not. These people got to be successful and smooth by appearing to be confident. And what about those who were smart enough to choose the right parents or get dipped in the gorgeous-gene pool? Well, you might not believe it but often these people are surprisingly insecure and frightened - of losing their looks, of appearing stupid and superficial, of growing old, of putting on weight, or of having no one love them for any reason other than their looks.

You don't have to be stunning to be confident. Go ahead and accept the ride home with the too-cute guy from your building who you never thought would ask you out. Introduce yourself to the fascinating girl you'd really like to know better. Or at least say "hi" to the person you see at the bus stop every day. Smart people do the best they can with what they've got, and they don't whine too much in the process.

Confidence is the ability to trust yourself and convey that sense to others, and appearance is half the battle. If you want to appear confident whether you feel confident or not, try the following tips:

Stand up straight. Posture counts. A straight spine denotes purpose and strength (spineless means cowardly, after all). Face forward. Think military bearing rather than bent-over hag from Snow White, and you'll get the picture. Smile. Not only is a smile a good umbrella to the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, but it also convinces others you're happy and healthy and wise. A frown makes you look like you're worried or frightened. Make eye contact. It's all in the eyes. Showing that you're not afraid to look someone in the eye means that you're strong and truthful and willing to meet their scrutiny.
One of the most blatant tip-offs to a lie is the liar's inability to make eye contact - unless we're talking pathological liar here, and then you're sunk anyway. Your mother knew that when she said, "Look me in the eye and tell me you you didn't eat the last cookie!" Lean forward slightly. Whether you're standing or sitting, leaning forward rather than pulling back denotes energy and forthrightness - and that signals strength and willingness. It also lets your energy move forward. Shake hands firmly (both men and women). Upon entering a new situation, walking confidently into someone else's space and putting out your hand and firmly - not crushingly nor limply - offering a part of yourself in a friendly but assertive way says gobs and gobs of good things about you: You're unafraid, you're an equal, you're friendly, you're engaging. A firm handshake while you look someone in the eye works wonders in business and personal situations.

It's okay to feel nervous or excited, especially in new situations. An actor will often talk about unless they have that adrenaline rush, they're not going to give a really top-notch performance. Make those nerves work for you. Remind yourself: I've felt this way before, and I survived; what's the worst thing that could happen, and how likely is that? It's okay to feel a bit edgy. I can do this. Remember confidence is both that quiet inner voice and that more obvious outer show.

As I'm sure you've figured out, the woman who wears the flashy, low cut dress and the man who brags about his conquests might not be confident at all, they may be insecure and trying to convince other folks of their appeal. Anything you use to build confidence needs to go deeper and work for you, not against you. You don't want to send an easily misread or misinterpreted signal. Doing something harmful to your basic sense of self doesn't make any sense. On the other hand, positive activities build real self-assurance.

A final thought is make sure that you're not buying confidence through chemistry - alcohol or other drugs - because it's short-lived, unproductive, and dangerous. If you don't believe me, try being stone cold sober around a bunch of drunks.

About the Author:

Edward has a wealth of writing experience on the web. Visit his latest laptop case website that discusses both the pink laptop case and womens computer bag ranges of products.