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Do You Know You?

by Gayla Monique

posted in Self Improvement

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What does self-awareness mean to you? What it means to me in the simplest definition is being aware of my own emotions, personality, skills, behavior, and thoughts in order to help me determine where I'm going or where I need to go. Therefore, I don't concern myself with naysayers or those who throw shade or just simply hate. Some people believe that concerning themselves with what others think is actually confidence. Truthfully, two of the greatest reason people have low self-esteem and unaware of themselves are because they're too worried about what others think and too busy comparing themselves to someone who poses a threat in their mind. And in the mix of all this chaos going through their head they don't realize they're this way because they're simply not aware of whom they are. Despite the confidence they try to show, their behavior gives it all away.
I knew a young woman who on the surface appeared to be pretty confident but I noticed over time she had a very difficult time giving others compliments. It was to the point, it almost looked as if she became mad if anyone but she received a compliment. I didn't say anything and I won't because despite what I witnessed this was a young woman who obviously had issues, therefore, it wasn't worth explaining her behavior. However, it became quite frustrating to listen to her criticize other people. Yet, I looked at her and thought, you really don't have an independent thought which makes her copy others and insecure and don't realize it, that's why she's unable to give others compliments. Trying to help someone who is insecure about they're behavior is not something you want to do. Not because she wasn't worth it but she didn't know who she was, therefore she would never accept the constructive criticism, she would have been more offended than comprehending. Her focus was always on what she looked like as opposed to knowing the overall person inside. Her thoughts were shallow and superficial but in her mind she was confident and sure of herself- NOT.
Anytime one criticizes or unable to give compliment it's not because they're just caught up in themselves. It's because this person feels threatened due to their unawareness and shallow thinking. Ladies, you are you, therefore, stop comparing yourself. There will always be someone, better looking, better dressed, just overall better; however, they may not even be any of these but one thing they do posses is their self-awareness- get some, it will make life in general so much better. Last thing ladies, you may have all the great assets that a man loves but you will certainly run them off with your shallow and superficial thinking, if he's any kind of man.
Be confident in everything you do, from dressing to being a parent- own who you are despite what others may say or think because who are they anyway? Over half the people who have something negative to say, say it only because you have a posed a threat!
Self-Awareness is a critical acceptance in life. Without it, we build false ideas of who we are. In fact, it opens a door that we should never desire to open, the door to low-self esteem. When this sort of door opens in our lives it causes many problems, i.e., constantly comparing ourselves to others, jealousy, envy, and criticism. Most of all it deteriorates the true identity of one's self, therefore, whoever we suspect posing any threat, we are placed in attack mode which can eventually boil over to bullying and/or malicious behavior. Self-Awareness is for ALL ages.
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