If you work in a conflict-ridden situation, you know that it is not only uncomfortable, but it affects the performance of those involved. Conflict in the workplace is inevitable. The question becomes: how do you handle conflict?

Do you shy away from conflict?

Do you tend to give it time to work itself out or figure that there’s nothing you can do about it?

Many people feel uncomfortable with conflict and stay away from it. If you respond to tense situations in these ways, you may actually exacerbate conflict.

Instead, try to confront clashes when they are small before they spiral out of control. Proactively address the people involved and together brainstorm ways to solve the issue at hand. If you’re feeling nervous about doing this, do it anyway. Several great changes can result: your anxiety decreases, you build confidence and you diffuse the tension.

Do you have a natural tendency and ability to manage relationships and smooth out arguments? Women are especially prone to this response because they are socialized from a young age to create positive relationships with others. This tendency can lead to neglecting your own needs while focusing on others. It can, however, work to your advantage if you are assertive about your own needs.

The key is to trust your intuition about how to handle discord. Decrease defensiveness by using assertiveness skills, such as “I” language (“I feel..” rather than “you always…”). Assertively make specific requests for change and let employees know what is expected. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to try these strategies out to see what works in your situation. You’ll probably find that you have a great conflict manager inside you.