What Do Marriage Counselors Do?
If your marriage is falling apart and all you can think about is going your separate way, you must realize that divorce should only be your final option. You should try to do anything within your power to make your marriage work. When you both said, "I do," you made a commitment to stay with that person until death do you part. Maybe those are outdated customs but they have worked for many people. There was a reason the two of you decided to spend the rest of your lives together and that reason must be uncovered once more. However, if you find yourself constantly bickering, and you can't stand the sight of one another, it may be time for some marriage counseling. What do marriage counselors do, though, that you can't do yourselves? Well, obviously what you're doing isn't working so it's time to give a marriage counselor a try.
Decide On One
First, you need to decide who you will feel most comfortable talking to. Some couples feel more comfortable talking to a male marriage counselor and some like talking to women. The marriage counselor should be neutral, however, which means that the counselor should not know either of you personally outside of your sessions. Only then can a marriage counselor truly work through the issues plaguing your marriage.
Everything Out in the Open
The only way a marriage counselor can help you fix your marriage is if you reveal everything that's going on. If you keep things hidden from the marriage counselor, the counseling is less likely to work. Even if the issues are embarrassing, completely personal, hurtful or whatever, you need to discuss these things. Getting them out is the only way to heal old wounds. The marriage counselor is neutral and everything you discuss is kept confidential. Nobody else will know what you divulge to the marriage counselor. Then, once everything is out in the open, and all cards are on the table, the counselor can do what he or she does best.
Healing Old Wounds
When you get a cut, you have to clean it, you have to dress it and you have to wait for it to heal. It's the same with your marriage. Cleaning your wounds could mean getting all your issues out into the open. Dressing your wounds could be the marriage counselor giving you tips on how to handle disputes, or advice on how to reignite that spark. The counselor should try to make things new again, just like when you first met. Then, you must wait for your wounds to heal. Your marriage counselor needs time to help you work through your issues. Your marriage didn't fall apart overnight and it's not going to heal itself over night. It's going to take work, determination and time but soon you'll find that spark again and hopefully your marriage will survive.
