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Relationships: Should Someone Try To Rekindle A Friendship?

by Oliver JR Cooper

posted in Relationships

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It is often said that one's friends are the family they choose, and this is why someone can feel as close to their fiends as they can to their family. In some instances, the connection one has with their friends could be greater than the connection they have with their family.
When this happens, it could be a sign that one doesn't have much of a connection with their family, and this can then cause them to see their friends in a different light. They are then not just fiends; they are far more important.
However, even if one is close to their family, they are still going to appreciate the people in their life who are their friends, and it might not matter whether they have known them for a matter of months or years. What is likely to matter is how they feel when they are around them.
This shows that one can form a connection with someone in a very short period of time. If each person was to reflect on why they feel a connection, they might start to think about a number of things.
A Process
There is also chance that as time passes, they will start to become aware of other reasons why they are close. This could then mean that what brought them together at one point in time is not necessarily the reason why they are friends at another.
When this happens, it could mean that the initial reason for them being brought together was just a way for them to connect. Their relationship has then gradually developed, and is then nothing like how it was in the beginning.
Feeling Comfortable
If one was to think about why they feel a connection to someone, it is partly going to come down to the fact that they feel comfortable around them. As a result of this, it will allow them to be themselves and they won't feel the need to put on an act.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that one can express their true-self as opposed to having the need to create a false-self. This will then mean that one can express their truth, and this means the relationship is likely to be far more fulfilling than it would be if they were putting on an act.
It could then be said that one will feel as though they can trust the other person, and this is then going to allow them to open up. The reason they feel this way is going to be due to how the other person responds to their self-disclosure.
This is going to be something that allows them to develop a deeper connection to the other person, and the other person is also likely to open up in the same way. If this is something that doesn't take place, it could mean that their relationship doesn't have much depth.
When two people only talk about what they have achieved or how well they are doing, for instance, and they don't talk about anything that could be classed as 'negative', there is the chance that their relationship won't be as fulfilling. This is not to say that one needs to talk about their problems; what it comes down to is being vulnerable.
One is then going to come across as an authentic human being, and not as someone who other people can't relate to. Having said that, if one is unable to be vulnerable and they spend their time around people who are the same, it won't be a problem.
Different Types
What this shows is that not all friendships are the same, and while this partly comes down to the fact that not everyone wants the same thing; it can also be a sign that not all friendships are healthy. But just because someone is in a relationship that isn't healthy, it doesn't mean they will realise this.
If this is what they are accustomed to, and they haven't been exposed to friendships that are healthy; they are not going to know any different. In order for them to realise, it will be important for them to experience an internal shift.
However, one doesn't need to experience an internal shift in order for their life to change, and this is because change is part of life. This means that while there is the chance that a friendship will develop, it might not.
On one hand, it could end up staying as it is, and on the other hand, it could end up coming to an end. If it ends up coming to an end, it could be because they have simply grown apart, but then again, this might not be the case.
Other Reasons
Something may have happened that caused one to feel as though the other person has broken their trust. Or perhaps the other person has behaved in a way that goes against one's values, for instance.
Alternatively, one may be the one who has broken the others persons trust, or they may have behaved in a way that caused the other person to pull away. There is also the chance that this is a two-way occurrence, and this means each person has played a part in what has taken place.
Further Back
The reason their friendship has come to an end could then be because of a one-off occurrence, however, this might not be the complete truth. If they were to reflect on the past, they may find that it was just the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.
Upon reflection, they may find that there were other instances what were similar, and the reason they have only just realised this is because they overlooked what was taking place. As a result of what has happened recently, it is now possible for them to accept how things have been.
Weighing Up the Pros and Cons
If one wants to rekindle a friendship, it will be important for them to take the time to think about why they want to do this. One may be experiencing a sense of loneliness, for instance, and this could cause them to reach out to someone who is not right for them.
However, there is also the chance that one can see that the friendship ended unnecessarily, and that it would be in their best interests to reach out to the other person. In this case, it could be a sign that it wasn't possible for one to think clearly, and now that they have settled down, they are able to see things differently.
About the Author: Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over seven hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."
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