Chuck Norris Karate Is Flawless
Chuck Norris Karate Is Flawless
In his first two official karate tournaments Chuck Norris lost both times. Instantly you may think that this would soundly defeat my premise that Chuck Norris karate is flawless but it does not. Not by a long roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris karate has since developed into the only way a real man beats up another real man in public. Why is that? Because Chuck Norris karate was developed by the only real man left on the planet. That man is, well, Chuck Norris.
With bulging biceps and a roundhouse kick that has been officially certified by the United States Army as a lethal weapon, Chuck Norris developed Chuck Norris karate and within 20 minutes of Chuck Norris opening the first Chuck Norris karate school 30 percent of the wanted criminals in the United States voluntarily turned themselves in while another 15 percent of wanted criminals died from fright. As soon as Chuck Norris put Chuck Norris karate on display in the movies and on television crime in the United States dropped another 10 percent and soon men everywhere were growing full beards and wearing black cowboy hats. Chuck Norris was well on his way to becoming a national icon and he was only 6 years old. Ok, maybe a little more than 6 but you get the idea.
The Boogeyman
It has been said that when the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. It has also been said that Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits. Those two items come from the list of all things Chuck Norris and that is just one part of the butt kicking legend that is Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris karate. Since his defeat at those two tournaments early in his career Chuck Norris returned to those tournaments and won them both by removing the hearts of all of his opponents. That probably isn't true because it is something I heard once from my brother but it still sounds totally awesome.
Chuck Norris continues to add to his growing legend by being the first person to fly to the moon without a rocket ship, winning the medal of honor from the Navy because he saved a submarine by plugging a leak with his beard, and for his work in hunting down Saddam Hussein in Iraq by simply standing in the desert and yelling "Saddam get out here right now!" While Chuck Norris refused to be photographed with Hussein, rest assured that as soon as Hussein heard the voice of Chuck Norris he knew the game was over.