Do high school cliques serve kids well?
High school cliques have been around for a long time, at least since the 1950s. The usual form is that of a small group of kids, both girls and boys, who band together in an exclusive way, shunning those outside of the group. The basis upon which such high school cliques are formed is typically concerned with popularity, appearance, wealth and clothes. Others may try to be accepted into these exclusive groups, so that some of the clique member's polish might rub off on them, opening doors to party invites and a seat at the lunch table.
First of all, the idea that belonging to a high school clique somehow endows the member with superiority is flawed thinking. If you think about the old adage, 'safety in numbers', it becomes apparent that perhaps these clique members are actually insecure and immature. Perhaps these characteristics go with the age group, but then again perhaps it's also a signal that the individual should work on becoming secure in their own right and gain a little maturity to prepare themselves for adulthood.
Everyone who went to high school is familiar with this social caste group. Did you belong or were you one of the so-called outcasts? There are so many interesting and talented kids in every high school who are excluded from the popularity contests which high school cliques embrace. Generally, these kids feel rejected, believing they just aren't good enough to garner the attention of these paragons.
The high school clique phenomenon is age-related and a developmental phase. When kids are little, parents generally try to teach their kids to get along with others. However, when the child reaches high school age, some of these same parents encourage this exclusivity, wanting their child to be amongst the popular ones. Do they suppose it's now better to belong to a high school clique, thus ensuring social standing amongst their peers? It makes you wonder, what happened to the getting-along teachings? Sometimes, parents are simply reliving their own high school experience of being on the outside.
When kids reach high school age, they are best served by good self-esteem, developed throughout childhood. Parents ought to let their kids know that true friends are not defined by their clothes, looks or financial standing. Friends should be cultivated on the basis of who they are, common interests and personalities reflecting more than the latest must-have fashion.
After all, when kids leave high school, the days of the high school clique are finished. You'll not find them in college nor in the workplace. Without the security and specialness conferred upon them, these former clique members may develop social problems relating to immature and suddenly unacceptable behavior.
In the final analysis, high school cliques produce little but snobbery and a lack of individualism. If cliques were exposed as a shallow, meaningless coterie, who would join? This might well be a good thing.
