How Can I Save My Marriage?
Marriage is a commitment to a person that you love. Marriage is not meant to be a battlefield, although sometimes it may seem like World War III. It's easy to want to end a relationship with the person if things are just not working out, but separation and divorce are not always the answer. Before taking any drastic step I tried to find ways to save my marriage.
Problems And Solutions
Because I wanted to save my marriage I first had to recognize that we were having problems. If either one of us said that there was no problem, then the fact that we were denying the problem was a problem all its own. What we will need to do is agree that we are having problems and that we needed to seek help.
If there are cycles of hurt and denial going on in our relationship, then there may be a moment when we realize that we will need a third party in order to resolved some of the conflict and tension that have been building up in order to save my marriage. Some rules to follow when trying to save my marriage included not bringing up old conflicts or hurts, and I also didn't expect my spouse to be able to read my mind. I tried to avoid using harsh, negative words when talking about my feelings or the situation. In this way I hoped to begin to open positive lines of communication in order to better solve our problems.
Once we had solved the problem of communication, we had to get down to what the real problems of the marriage were and why they were affecting the way we communicate. We learned to always make sure to address important issues instead of ignoring them or walking away from the discussion. This kept the dialogue open.
Sometimes, even when people repair the communication issues, there are still too many other issues there that people cannot deal with alone. Seeking out a marriage counselor or other form of therapy can help the situation by bringing in a fresh perspective. Finding a professional to help save my marriage was the best thing I ever did. A counselor was able to see past the faces and the problems and get down to the real reason for the arguing about something as simple as whose turn it is to clean or how the bills are getting paid. A third party was a better judge of how we handled and repaired our relationship. This was the key to saving my marriage.
