Prospective adoptive parents: Parenting when it's biologically unfeasible
For birthparents or birthmothers, giving up a child for adoption is like losing a part of themselves, but is not a reason to grieve over because they know the child is out there in the hands of adoptive parents. For many prospective adoptive parents, adoption is the only means they can share love and become parents even when it's impossible or not feasible.
Implications of adoptions
Adoption is a critical issue for all parties concerned: the birthparents, prospective adoptive parents, and the agency that supervises the adoption. Birthparents are faced with the dilemma of whether they are prepared for the consequences of such action, their child will have a happy family and environment a bright future.
Prospective adoptive parents, on the other hand, need to work on how to become good parents to the adopted child and also face the possibility (as in open adoptions) that the birthparents will "re-claim" the child. Agencies on their part have to carefully screen prospective adoptive parents and conduct a thorough background check on the identity and financial capability of adopting parents.
Parenting skills
Many prospective adoptive parents want to in the delivery room when the child set for adoption is born. This all depends on the birthmother's willingness to allow this situation. Although parenting skills is not undermined when the adoptee is already an older child, caring for a newborn can elicit motherly instincts in the adoptive mother and her relationship between the adoptee can be more special.
Adoptive parents can rely on the reality that the adoptee has been turned over to their responsibility and in order for the adoption to meet its full success prospective adoptive parents should regard the child as their own.
Is adoption for you?
Before arriving at a decision to adopt, prospective adoptive parents should not only ask themselves whether adoption is the best alternative to building a family. Parenting is a lifelong commitment so that if you don't have strong bases for wanting to adopt then it might not be the best time to do so.
Here are a few of the "wrong" reasons for adoption: to save a marriage, because your friends already have babies, to have an heir, or other external pressures such as your parents. If your reason for adopting is any of these, then you will need to give yourself time to really consider adoption.
Adoption is not a 20th century phenomenon and neither is parenting. Real parents are not necessarily the best at parenting. You can make a difference in a child's and your life even when it's out of adoption.
