Reuniting with your birthmother (After the long search)
You probably have thousands of questions in your head about the reasons your birthmother gave you up for adoption many years ago. While growing up, most adopted children imagine how the person who brought them into this world looked like, what she was like as a person, and what life could she be living at the moment. But after the long search the time has finally come for both of you to reunite.
Reunion following an adoption is a life-changing event that can be accompanied with mixed emotions but is generally a joyful moment, nonetheless. After all, not all adopted children are fortunate enough to meet their birthmother. The grief that you must be feeling for not being able to see your mother's face or feel the warmth of her embrace can pervade for an entire lifetime. It's as traumatic for you as it is for your birthmother so that you can treasure your reunion as much as you can.
Coping with opposition from adoptive parents
Adoptive parents are people who wanted children of their own but never had the opportunity so that they wanted to have you. They can feel rejection when you suddenly bring up the topic of searching for your birthmother. Many adoptive parents may not understand your aim and might even feel offended by you.
These are all normal reactions from the people who raised you as their own for a long time. What you can do is to not feel affected by any opposition coming from them. Rather, find all the support you can get who would help and support you in your search.
Many adopted children feel like a puzzle with one piece missing and to complete that is to find their birthmother. Mothers and children always have special bonds from the womb and the subconscious that no one can take away, not even distance, time, or the fact that they don't recognize each other's faces.
If your adoptive parents would not provide you with information about your birthmother, search beyond the home. Ask for registry entries for your mother's name. You'll feel a relief once your search is over.
Why biological mothers don't look for their child
Most birthmothers feel apprehensive about searching for their child for many reasons. One is that the child may not have been told that he/she's adopted and meeting her might cause irreversible confusion and depression. Another reason is that the adoption papers she signed onto might prohibit her from doing so. The important thing is to erase all negative thoughts about your birthmother.
For many adoptees, finding their birthmother is the most beautiful thing in their life. It's like quenching a deep thirst after a very long journey.
