Be Prepared for Lots of Free Marriage Advice
People love to give advice; for marriages, new babies, relationships, jobs, home improvements…you name it. Giving advice is easy, free and makes the person giving it feel important. However, it should always be the discretion of the recipient if he wants to listen to the marriage advice or just ignore it.
As soon as you even mention that you are interested in someone, the marriage advice starts pouring in from every direction without you so much as even ask for it. Grandma will suggest that you tie the knot soon before he changes his mind and twice-divorced Aunt Susan will suggest that you think it out long and hard before you say I Do. Some marriage advice can take the form of wedding preparation suggestions too with everyone putting in their two cents worth of where to have the wedding, whom to invite, what to wear, where to register for gifts and the whole nine yards.
This Is Just the Beginning!
And if you think that the marriage advice will end after you are married, think again. That's when you get more advice of whether you should move to a bigger place, when you should have children, how you should patch up after a fight and how you should celebrate holidays and at whose house.
Some people may give very well-intentioned marriage advice, but the rule of thumb for the giver should be that do not offer unsolicited advice. If your daughter asks you for marriage advice, then by all means rise to the occasion and give her suggestions that will best wok for her. Don't expect her marriage to be a replica of yours. Tailor your advice to the situation and the era you are living in.
However, even if you see red flags and feel there are some issue that need to be sorted out, do not give marriage advice without being asked for it. And never give advice just to pinpoint that you are having trouble and I can see it. If you even offer an iota of advice, always do it if you really feel you have something very useful to offer and do it tactfully.
Speaking in the third person is the best way to give marriage advice. For instance if Jen and Bill are obviously having issues of whether to have a Christmas tree or a menorah up for the holidays, casually bring up the topic of the Stevenson family that have come to an amicable solution for their interfaith family. By talking about others, you are giving them advice without sounding like Mrs. Perfect yourself.
